SCIFI.COM | Farscape: Journey Logs

Hi, Chiana here, pleeking around with Pilot's log. He's letting me record the plant battle since he's still helping Moya recover (and picking plant bits out of his teeth). So here we go....

We were all watching — especially that nerfer Sikozu — when a wormhole showed up just microts after Crichton predicted it would. The draddest, right? Nah, nothing that nice ever happens to us. After the wormhole closed, something rammed Moya from out of nowhere. Everything went black — even the stars.

Moya felt like she was being burned alive. D'Argo and Crichton actually had to go outside to see the problem: Moya'd been snared by a gigantic space plant lurking near the wormhole. The frelling grislack was eating our ship!

Meanwhile (speaking of frelling grislacks), I found Sikozu putting out a fire in Scorpius' cell. I thought Scorpy'd set it himself to make us free him. But it turned out the overloads and ruptures were starting fires all over Moya. While I put those out, Crichton and D'Argo took plant samples to Noranti and Sikozu for analysis.

Then I came across Aeryn. And she told me she's pregnant. Crichton already knew — but what he didn't know was that she didn't know who the father was. Get me? The way Peacekeeper pregnancies work, it could be any lover Aeryn's had in the last seven cycles. I don't know if I could remember every guy I've — what'd ya say Pilot? ... (Sigh.) As I was saying....

After Aeryn blew my mind, Crichton and D'Argo flew out in Lo'La and shot the plant — just as Sikozu and Noranti realized that blasting it was the worst thing we could do. Attacking the plant made it retreat — into Moya. Now it was eating our Leviathan from the inside.

'Cause I was a stupid greebol, I crawled into the walls to investigate. There were plant tentacles everywhere — scared me grotless, and I was still a little tinked in the head when I met up with D'Argo later; maybe that's why I blabbed Aeryn's secret to him.

A couple microts later, I was alone with Aeryn again, checking out Moya's neural lobes. Of course, that's when Aeryn asked me not to tell anyone about her secret — and to forget she'd even told me.

Frell.

I got out of there before I said anything else to get myself in even deeper dren. When the neural lobes started exploding, Aeryn escaped to Pilot's den, but the plant had attacked Pilot, too.

We had to get Pilot conscious again. After Scorpius revealed that the plant shriveled up whenever he touched it, Aeryn chained him to Pilot's console and the tentacles pulled away.

This wasn't 'cause the plant had good taste; it was 'cause the blue stuff in Scorpy's coolant rods could kill it. D'Argo and Crichton went to Scorpy's cell to snurch all his extra rods. And that's when D'Argo told Crichton about Aeryn's baby and its Big Bad Mystery Daddy....

Hey, did I mention that Rygel was temporary captain during all this? Just trying out the job 'til we held an election like Pilot asked. Well, by now His Royal Frellness was sulking and feeling guilty because Moya might die on his watch. Weird. Frogpuss never goes in for that guilt stuff....

Anyway, Sikozu diluted the coolant-rod formula. Crichton and Aeryn took a big bucket of it to the atmospheric scrubber complex, where fans could blow it all through Moya. A frelling drad idea....

Except the plant was already in the atmospheric scrubbers. It broke apart one of the big fans; the flying shrapnel knocked over the bucket of blue stuff and nearly killed Aeryn.

And remember Crichton's wormhole? We'd drifted right over its coordinates, Moya couldn't move, and it was due to open again really soon. So either this stupid plant would eat us from the inside out, or the wormhole would suck us in and spit us out in pieces. Whichever way you looked at it, we were frelled —

Hey, Pilot, can you finish this? Crichton's leaving for a Commerce Planet and I wanna go. How do I save this? Is it this one? ... Oops. I didn't break it, did I? Sorry. See you when I get back!