SCIFI.COM - Farscape

Okay, so when I'm published in the International Journal of Intergalactic Science I'll have to edit these sections down a bit, but for now, I've gotta talk about how great it was to be inside Aeryn.

Oh, not like that, come on now. Give me some credit. I'm not the type to kiss and tell - not when I think I might get caught, anyhow.

See, these aliens attacked us, but Moya used the defense screen we'd recovered from the Zelbinion. Somehow the combination of the energy beam and the defense screen caused a bizarro physical reaction, and *poof* next thing I know I'm in AERYN'S body! I mean, like, my consciousness is, or something. And she's in Rygel's, and - ick - Rygel's in mine. BOY was it weird. But, Aeryn's body, man, let me tell you, I thought that thing was fun from the OUTSIDE. I'm not even going to try [ AERYN'S BODY & RYGEL'S BODY ]

and describe what breasts feel like, I mean HAVING breasts feels like... Suffice it to say if I got to keep Aeryn's body I might never leave my room again.

'Course, alien beam hits again, right, and it's bye bye breasts. This time when I'm finally aware of my surroundings, I'm little and floating and green. And now, after spending way too many arns inside Spanky, I've come to the conclusion he's even nastier than I thought. Everything burbles or gurgles or emits noxious odors and the whole experience is a lot like walking around in a sewer. And those itty bitty arms and itty bitty legs are practically unusable. Does make me feel something like sympathy for the little dude, though - after 600 cycles trapped in *that*, I'd be a whiny bastard, too.

Ultimately it was nice to be me again, but ogling Aeryn's never gonna be the same now that I've walked around in there. What a gyp that I got to see how much fun it was, and now it's hands-off. You know, Aeryn and I should really sit down and talk about that.